1. INT. LOADING BAY - ANYTIME

ANNOUNCER

Please step all the way into the Automated Tour Guide vehicle.  Quickly take your seats, stow your personal items in the bins in front of you, and buckle your safety belts.  Our tour of Monsters, Incorporated will begin shortly.  Thank you.

The announcer’s voice emits from speakers in the loading bay as well as from the ride vehicle itself.  Guests line up, awaiting their turn to journey to Monstropolis.  Two monsters greet them nearby.

SMITTY

(voice cracking)

Oh boy… humans in Monstropolis.  What’ll they think of next?

NEEDLEMAN

(voice cracking also)

Quiet, you fool!  You’ll scare them away!!

SMITTY

Sorry!

NEEDLEMAN

Just get back to work!

SMITTY

Okay!

NEEDLEMAN

Welcome, humans, to Monsters, Inc.!

(turns to Smitty)

How was that?

SMITTY

Not bad.  Let me try.

(turns to guests)

Welcome  to Monsters, Incorporated!  We’ll try not to scare you while you’re here!!

NEEDLEMAN

Smitty!

SMITTY

Sorry!

We step into the recently arrived ride vehicle, step inside, sit down, and get buckled in, ready to go.

ANNOUNCER

Before we continue, we ask you to please refrain from flash photography or video taping.  We don’t want to disturb our monsters at work.  Thank you.

The car moves toward a large metal door, with a giant M on it.

2. INT. LAUGH FLOOR

ANNOUNCER

Now... We welcome you to Monsters, Incorporated.

The large, metal doors open to the sound of upbeat jazz music.  The Laugh Floor is revealed.  There are several doors, seemingly leading to nowhere, periodically placed in this large room.  There are also a couple monsters at work.

ANNOUNCER

This is the Laugh Floor.  Here, our top MC’s, that’s Monster Comedians, are hard at work, day after day, journeying through these doors into your world, the human world.  Their goal is simple: to get laughter from children around your world, using some of the most advanced laugh techniques ever invented.

(beat)

Unfortunately, our monsters are on their lunch break right now, but we may still catch a few working.

The vehicle stops in front of a burnt-orange monster that has been glaring at us with his beady, red eyes since the moment we entered the Laugh Floor.

HAROLD

(gritting his teeth)

Humans… WHAT are YOU doing HERE?  And on our break no lessss...

He starts to lean toward us.

MIKE

HAAARROOLLD!!

Mike Wazowski, a small, green, one-eyed monster turns around from his door control panel, yelling at Harold.

MIKE

What do I keep telling you?

(turning to us)

Hi folks.  Sorry about that.  One second.

(back to Harold)

HAROLD!

HAROLD

(slyly)

What issssss it Wazowski?

MIKE

Do not scare the humans!  These are our guests!

HAROLD

GUESTS?  Hmmm.  I remember when we used to be rewarded for  scaring this kind…

MIKE

Well not anymore.

(turning back to us)

Sorry about this...  Some of us have been unable to adjust to being NICE for a change.  Anyway, I’m Mike Wazowski, super-

The vehicle begins to move away.

ANNOUNCER

(interrupting Mike)

Our next stop is the office of James P. Sullivan, our new President and CEO.

MIKE

(watching the vehicle go)

Hey!  HEY!  Wait!

(mumbling to himself)

Oh sure, Sulley gets all the credit.  I’m just the little guy. 

(shouting to us)

I’LL BE WATCHING YOU WITH MY ONE EYE!

The vehicle leaves the Laugh Floor through another set of large metal doors.

3. INT. SULLEY’S OFFICE

We enter the room and see a desk in the middle of the floor with a chair turned away from us.  There is a Tomorrowland poster on the wall behind the desk.  We slowly approach the desk.

ANNOUNCER

And now… here is President and CEO of Monsters Incorporated, James P. Sullivan.

Sulley swivels around in his chair behind his desk.

SULLEY

Hey there!  You can call me Sulley.  As you’ve heard already, I’m the President and CEO of the new Monsters, Inc., where we no longer scare humans, but rather give your children a little fun and entertainment every night, powering our city at the same time.  In fact, with our new partnership with Tomorrowland, we power much of your city too!  We’ve found that the laugher of a child produces ten times the power that screams can… and we would never have figured that out without the help one particular child.  She’s a special little one to all of us here at Monsters, Inc. and I’m sure you’ll love her.  I’ve arranged for a special door to be brought in here for the tour.

Sulley points to a large double-door to his right.  The door is illuminated to reveal what looks like a children’s door, only much larger.

SULLEY

Now, I’d like to take you to meet her.

The door slowly opens.

SULLEY

Just head through and I’ll join you in a second.

The vehicle moves through the double doors into a dimly lit bedroom.

4. INT. BOO’S BEDROOM

We can barely make out a window, bed, and table with chairs.  In the bed lies a small girl, asleep.  Behind the vehicle, we hear the door shut.  We see Sulley’s shadow creep by us on the left and move toward the bed.  He slowly approaches the bed, lurking over the girl.

SULLEY

BOO!

Lights flip on, shining on the bed.  The girl quickly jumps up.

BOO

Kitty!

SULLEY

Hey there Boo! Great to see you again.

(turning to us)

Folks, this is Boo, the girl that deserves all the credit for showing monsters that scaring just isn’t what we should be doing.  Her laughter alone gave us enough power for months, but more importantly, she touched our hearts.

Boo blushes and mumbles something in baby-talk.

SULLEY

Yes that’s right, Boo.  These are our guests.  We’re giving them a tour of Monsters, Inc.

BOO

(in baby-talk)

Mike Wazowski!

SULLEY

Yes they’ve met Mike too.  I’m sure they’ll see more of him on the tour.  He has a knack for sticking his head in everywhere.

Boo laughs.

SULLEY

Well, we really should continue with our tour.

Boo exclaims something.

SULLEY

No Boo, you have to stay here.

The vehicle begins to slowly turn around.

ANNOUNCER

Our next stop on the tour will be the Laugh Training facility.

As the vehicle turns toward the door, we catch a glimpse of Boo running in front of us.

SULLEY

Boo!  Come back!

When we’ve turned around completely, we see Harold peeking out from behind the doors, holding Boo in his grasp.

HAROLD

Haha!  I’ve got her!  Hahahaha!  So long, Sullivan!

SULLEY

HAROLD!

As quickly as he appeared, Harold vanishes through the door, with Boo in hand.

BOO

(in the distance, crying)

Kittyyy!!!

SULLEY

We have to save her!

The car advances.

ANNOUNCER

The Laugh Training facility features some of the most--

SULLEY

(interrupting the announcer)

We have to go after Boo!

The vehicle moves through the doors, which shut quickly behind it, trapping Sulley in Boo’s room.

5. INT. LOBBY

SULLEY

(over the vehicle speakers)

Hey!  I’m trapped back here!  Don’t worry about me…  Tour guide to manual override.

FEMALE VOICE

Automated Tour Guide System now in Manual Control.  Have fun!

The vehicle bumps about and starts to rock back and forth.

SULLEY

Hang on folks… I’ve taken control of your vehicle and I’ve only driven these things once before.

The vehicle gets mostly under control and stops in front of a desk in the lobby.

CELIA

Oh hello!

SULLEY

(over the speaker)

Is that… Celia?!

CELIA

Sulley?

SULLEY

How did we end up in the lobby?  Harold must have sabotaged Boo’s door…. No matter.

(yelling to Celia)

I’m stuck in the human world!  Tell Mike to find a door out for me!

CELIA

Sure thing!

SULLEY

And tell him that Harold’s kidnapped Boo!

Celia picks up the phone and begins talking to Mike.

CELIA

(on the phone)

Hey Googlybear, Sulley’s trapped in Boo’s room and Harold’s kidnapped Boo.

MIKE

(over phone)

I knew we shouldn’t have let Randall’s cousin work here!  I can find a door for Sulley… but who’s gonna go after Harold?

Celia turns and looks at us.

SULLEY

Guys… I’m going to guide you through this building.  We have to catch Harold.  Hang on tight!

CELIA

I’ll sound the alarms… good luck!

FEMALE VOICE

(softly)

Alert.  Alert.

The vehicle takes off wildly, spinning around a few times before continuing.

6a. INT. DOOR 1 – ROZ’S OFFICE

There are two sets of double doors.  Sulley guides the vehicle through the one on the left.  Suddenly, alarms go off with red lights flashing.  Monsters in yellow jumpsuits surround the vehicle as it comes to a screeching halt.

Roz emerges from behind her desk.

ROZ

Good work boys.  I think we got em.

The alarms cease.

SULLEY

Roz!  These aren’t the intruders… these are our guests.  We’re going after Harold.

ROZ

Sullivan… is that you?

SULLEY

Yes, I’m trapped in the human world.  Mike is getting me out of here but I have to let these humans chase after Harold or we’ll never catch him!

ROZ

Hmmmm….

MIKE

(over the speaker)

Roz!   It’s me Mike… just let em go!  I’ll do all the paperwork!  Don’t worry!  We have to catch Boo!

ROZ

Alright Wazowski… go ahead.

The monsters in yellow back off and disappear.

ROZ

But I’m watching you Wazowski… always watching.

The vehicle moves ahead down a hallway.

7a. INT. HALLWAY 1

We see Harold run into a door with Boo.

SULLEY

There he is!  Let’s go!

The vehicle quickly speeds to that door and stops.  The door flies open revealing another vehicle full of humans.

SULLEY

Whoa.  That’s a strange door.  Keep going!

The door slams shut and the car keeps moving down the hallway, spinning and turning out of control along the way.

SULLEY

Let’s try that one!

The car stops again as a door at the end of the hallway flies wide open.  We see an enormous eye looking back at us.  It blinks..

SULLEY

Sorry Joe!  Wrong door… next!

The vehicle speeds down the hall another few feet and comes to a halt.  The door slowly opens.

PIRATE VOICE

(over speaker)

Dead men tell no tales… tales... tales…

We see Mike with a large eye patch and a bandana next to Sulley with a pirate hat on his head.  There is treasure around them on the ground and fire burning behind them.  They are singing.

MIKE AND SULLEY

Yo ho, yo ho, a monster’s life for me!

MIKE

Arr.. avast there Sulley!  I found you a way to land.

SULLEY

Eye, good job matey.  You guys keep chasing!  I’ll be right behind you!

The car spins to the right revealing one final door.

SULLEY

There’s only one place left he could be…

The doors swing open.

MIKE

The door repository.

6b. INT. DOOR 2 – CAFETERIA

We find ourselves in a cafeteria filled with monsters.  Some are eating, some walking, and some are just getting their food.

SULLEY

Well this was going to be part of our tour anyway!

GEORGE

Hey!  Humans!  How are ya?!

SULLEY

Not now George… we’ve got to catch Harold!

GEORGE

Huh?

The car dodges monsters.

RED MONSTER

Hey there! Whooaaa

SULLEY

Watch out!  Humans coming through!  Outta the way!

We slow down near the food bar.

SULLEY

Hey! Have you seen Harold?

CHEF

He just went down that hall I think…

SULLEY

Thanks… I’ll be back for lunch in a few minutes… I hope.

We round a corner, spinning a few times, and pass through more double doors.

7b. INT. HALLWAY 2

We see Harold run into a door with Boo.

SULLEY

There he is!  Let’s go!

The vehicle quickly speeds to that door and stops.  The door flies open revealing the other vehicle.

SULLEY

Whoa.  That’s a strange door.  Isn’t that your mother?  Wave quickly, we have to keep going!

The door slams shut and the car keeps moving down the hallway, spinning and turning out of control along the way.

SULLEY

Let’s try that one!

The car stops again as a door at the end of the hallway flies wide open.  We see empty space with stars flickering.  Twilight Zone music plays as a wooden doll flies by.

SULLEY

Wrong dimension.  Next!

The vehicle speeds down the hall another few feet and comes to a halt.  The door slowly creeks open.

GHOST HOST

(over speaker)

Ahhh… there you are!  And just in time… there’s a little matter I forgot to mention.  Beware of Hitchhiking… Monsters??

We see Mike a ball and chain next to Sulley holding a top hat in the air.  Both are hitchhiking a la the Haunted Mansion.

MIKE

Hey there… I found a way out.

SULLEY

Not quite what I meant… but it works.  You guys keep chasing!  I’ll be right behind you!

The car spins to the left revealing one final door.

MIKE

There’s only one place left he could be…

The doors swing open.

SULLEY

The door repository.

8. INT. DOOR REPOSITORY

The vehicle quickly speeds up, shoots down a tube, and we wind up flying through thousands of doors along a track.

We spot Harold carrying Boo on a door in the distance.  We begin to chase after him, soaring between doors.  We get closer and get bumped back as we slam into a door.

SULLEY

Watch out!  I’m almost there!

Harold jumps to a different track and splits off from us.  We lose sight of him.

SULLEY

Now where’d he go…

We spot him again, right along side of us.

SULLEY

Right there!

Suddenly, Sulley bursts through a nearby door and grabs him.

SULLEY

Gotcha!

Harold smacks him, causing him to slip and barely hang on to the door.  At the same time, Harold begins to lose his grip.  Mike pops out of the door next to him and snatches Boo away.

HAROLD

Wazzzowski!  Give me that thing!

MIKE

SHE is not a THING!

BOO

Mike Wazowski!

Just then, Sulley regains his balance and grabs a hold of Harold once and for all.

SULLEY

Thanks guys!  We’ve got it from here!

The vehicle swings left and glides down another tube, away from the mass of doors.

9. INT. LAUGH FLOOR

We see Mike, Sulley, and Boo lined up together, waving to us.

SULLEY

Hey thanks for your help!  Boo’s safe now!

MIKE

We hope you enjoyed your visit to Monstropolis… despite the commotion.

BOO

Mike Wazowski!

MIKE

Speaking of commotion… Sulley, what’d you do with Harold anyway?

SULLEY

I gave him all the children he’ll ever want…

Sulley reaches over and opens a nearby door.  We peer inside and see Harold among many animatronic kids.

KIDS

(singing)

It’s a small world after all…

HAROLD

SULLIVAN!  I’LL GET YOU FOR THIS!! AAGGHHH!!

Everyone laughs and Sulley slams the door shut.

SULLEY

Goodbye folks!  Come back and see us again some time.  Maybe we can take you on a real tour next time.

“If I Didn’t Have You” plays as the vehicle turns away and leaves the Laugh Floor.

THE END