Tag: commercial
FinallyFast.com is finally fined for its fraudulent computer “fix-it” software practices
In January of 2009, I wrote an article detailing everything I hate about the then-frequently aired commercials for FinallyFast.com. In the article, I explained five reasons why the commercial made me want to throw my TV out a window every time it came on. I also initially stated that the software likely did absolutely nothing useful for any of the unlucky suckers who bought into it.
Shortly thereafter, I received a letter from an attorney representing FinallyFast.com asking me to remove their commercial, screenshots, and all “defamatory, false, and misleading” comments I had made. I obliged, ONLY because I had never actually used their software and couldn’t say with a 100% certainty that it did not work. Now I can.
Ascentive, the company behind FinallyFast.com, has now been penalized $78,000 and is being forced to issue thousands of $17.90 refunds to customers who purchased their misleading software and ultimately didn’t use it.
The software downloads for free, scans a user’s computer, identifies “problems” with it, and then presents users with options to “fix” it at an additional cost. But those costs were apparently automatically charged whether the user wanted them or not.
To make the situation worse, Assistant Attorney General Jake Bernstein says the FinallyFast.com software finds problems regardless of whether there are any. Even new computers or ones with freshly reformatted hard drives would be identified as having hundreds, if not thousands, of “errors.” In addition, until March 2009, the software was bundled with adware and regularly popped-up warning messages declaring how many “errors” it found.
In the meantime, customers were automatically charged for subscribing to Ascentive’s practically fictitious “cleaning” service and had to jump through hoops to figure out how to cancel.
So it seems I was right about Ascentive and its FinallyFast.com site and software all along, despite what their attorneys wanted me to believe. I won’t bother re-editing my original article, as it’s simply not worth including their obnoxious commercial here. (Plus, I don’t think it’s airing on TV anymore – thankfully.)
I’d like to think this is a lesson learned for anyone who even remotely considers buying computer “fix-it” software off of a late-night TV commercial, but it’s most likely the case that anyone who gets suckered in to buying such software will never read this article or even hear about the ruling against FinallyFast.com.
TweetA holiday divided: Pomplamoose does Hyundai Christmas commercials and the Internet erupts in flames
Christmas time has come and gone for 2010 and I’m sure plenty of us spent the majority of our vacation plopped on a couch watching television and generally spacing out. I sure did.
Well, amidst the reruns and obligatory Christmas specials (Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown!) some new entertainment emerged in the form of Hyundai car commercials featuring catchy renditions of classic Christmas songs. And if you watched more than 10 minutes of TV this holiday season, you likely saw at least one of these ads, as Hyundai seemed to be airing them during almost every commercial break on every station.
In case somehow you didn’t see them, here they are:
Up on a Housetop:
TweetFRIDAY FLASHBACK: Elusive Intel Pentium MMX Bunny Suit Commercials
In the mid-to-late ’90s, Intel was promoting its new processor with a series of fun and colorful commercials that seem to have now vanished off of the face of the planet. I wish I could find those…
Elusive Intel Pentium MMX Bunny Suit Commercials
This foreign-language version of the commercials in question is the closest example I could find of the fun Intel commercials that featured people in rainbow-colored clean room “bunny suits” dancing around:
I enjoyed these commercials so much that I even bought (and still have on my desk) one of these bunny suit plushes:
So where are all the Intel Pentium MMX commercials? How are they not on YouTube? Or am I just missing something?
It’s no surprise that it’s very easy to find the Apple parody version:
The bunny suits are also featured in this Intel Inside commercial featuring The Simpsons:
If anyone can find one of the United States versions of the dancing bunny suit Intel commercials, post a link in the comments!
TweetFRIDAY FLASHBACK: The Most Memorable Candy Commercials of the 1980s (via Retroist)
This week’s Friday Flashback comes to us courtesy of Retroist.com…
The Most Memorable Candy Commercials of the 1980s
From Retroist:
The 1980s were a great time for child product marketing. The toy, cereal and candy commercials clogged the airwaves every day, filling our small brains with thoughts of plastic fun and sugar coated impulse buys. Many of these classic ads are indelibly burned into our brains. Here are a few of the most memorable candy commercials from the 1980s:
Big League Chew
I am not allowed to eat Big League Chew and when I say eat I mean eat. I am one of “THOSE” people who for some reason cannot chew this gum, but instead swallows it at the first opportunity. It was a problem that in my youth left my stomach swelled with gum and my family wide-eyed with disgust. Needless to say, I was expressly forbidden from buying the chew. Still, whenever I scoped the classic sports themed commercial I would try and sneak a pouch to bring to Little League with me. Of course I would finish on the walk to the park and be the most bloated 3rd baseman on the field.
Twizzlers
The magic Twizzler mouth still gives me nightmares. Sometimes when I try to sleep I can still see this gibbering hungry mouth searching for me in the darkness at the edge of my bed.
Bonkers
Bonkers were not quite gum and not quite taffy. They were sort of a variation on the Starburst with a little more chewiness and unlike the sunshine themed Starburst, Bonkers decided that the threat of death by crushing was a much more attractive marketing ploy. I am glad they did, because it made for some very memorable commercials.
Whatchamacallit
Tom and Bill just finished lunch and Bill pulls out a candy bar and starts snacking.
Tom -What you eating?
Bill -- Whatchamacallit.
Tom -But what’s the name of what you are eating?
Bill -- Whatchamacallit.
Tom -You don’t know the name?
Bill -- I told you the name.
Tom -You said Whatchamacallit.
Bill -- That’s right.
Tom plunges a fork into Bill’s brain, ending this battle of circular logic.
Holiday M&M’s
M&Ms know how to do the holidays up right. That is why even after all the other great holiday product tie-ins have fallen to the wayside, M&Ms continue to endure as a symbol of holiday frivolity. My X-mas is not complete without a heaping bowl of red and green peanut M&Ms.
Caramello
This makes a lot more sense when you grew up watching Peter Gabriel stop motion music videos.
And I have to personally add one more to the list:
California Raisins
Yes, raisins were heavily marketed as nature’s candy in the ’80s through a fun variety of little dancing purple guys… and it was quite successful. Well, I don’t know how much it actually made me want to eat raisins, but it did make me want to buy California Raisins figures, clothing, etc. And it definitely got that darn song stuck in the heads of every television-watcher across the United States.
Be sure to check out The Retroist every day for more great retro fun.
TweetMONDAY MEDIA: It’s Nanerpus!
A little over a month after Super Bowl XLIII was played, I’m just getting around to posting about the best (and most catchy) commercial aired during the game…
It’s Nanerpus!
Watch it again. You know you want to. And again. And again. And again. There’s just something hypnotic about Nanerpus. Maybe it’s the obvious strings pulling its “limbs.” Maybe it’s the fact that its eye falls off. Maybe it’s the cute jingle. Or maybe… it’s just Nanerpus.
The best news is that Denny’s has made available for download a good quality, slightly-extended version of the commercial here. You can hear Nanerpus say the full word “pancakes.” Awesome, eh?
Searching around the ‘net for Nanerpus shows that I’m clearly not the only one that’s slightly obsessed about the silly banana puppet thing.
Here’s an Asian Nanerpus:
And a Baby Nanerpus:
This guy even tried to complete the Nanerpus song:
Nanerpus is also on Twitter (though I’m pretty sure it’s an imposter).
And there’s also an amazing Nanerpus art contest here, with my favorite entry being this t-shirt design:
If Denny’s was smart, they’d sell shirts with this design on it. I’d buy one.
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