www.davidblaine2009.com

Now that David Blaine has hung himself upside down for 60 days, immersed himself inside a water ball and has caught a bullet in a metal cup in his mouth, he feels he is ready for his most amazing feat of self-abuse yet. He has decided to run for President of the United Sates.

“I am going to train hard, but I don’t know if my body can take the constant criticism and mental anguish — I am only human after all, ” Blaine responded when asked about the challenge in a press conference in Washington DC. Always trying to make any stunt as difficult as possible, Blaine said he would ask Larry Craig to be his vice-presidential running mate.

Medical experts have advised Blaine not to run. “It could kill him,” said Dr. Thomas Reid of the Mayo Institute. Blaine reported that he will prepare for the challenge by banging his head against the wall of his training gym for eight hours a day. “I hope it is enough, ” Blaine said.

(Ok…Ok…not true — but you have to admit that would be abusive.) Dr. Disney

From orlandosentinel.com:

The person who died in this morning’s fatal accident involving two tractor-trailers, including one that spilled $182,000 in nickels on Interstate 95, was a 61-year-old man from Maryland, the Florida Highway Patrol just announced.

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From star-ecentral.com:

Hayao Miyazaki with actress Tomoko Yamaguchi, who voices Sosuke’s mother, Lisa, at the screening of Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea at a Tokyo theatre on July 19

Not since his masterpiece My Neighbor Totoro has Hayao Miyazaki even attempted a film aimed almost entirely at young children. But now, with Gake no Ue no Ponyo (Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea), the auteur brings us a fun, simple and lighthearted tale of love and family.

Very loosely based on The Little Mermaid by Hans Christian Andersen, Ponyo, which was released in Japan in July, tells the story of a young fish girl who is rescued by a five-year-old boy named Sosuke (Hiroki Doi) after she is trapped inside an empty jar while sunning herself on a jellyfish. She and the boy, who promptly names her Ponyo (a Japanese onomatopoeic term meaning soft and plump), hit it off, and Ponyo (Yuria Nara) decides she loves him and wants to be human.

The feeling is mutual, leaving Sosuke in a funk when Ponyo’s father, a sorcerer named Fujimoto (George Tokoro) who gave up on humanity to live in the sea, takes her home and tries to convince her to give up on becoming one of those horrible humans.

But the young Ponyo is smitten, and thanks to a little magic she has picked up – and Sosuke’s DNA, which she got by licking a cut on his thumb – she sprouts two legs and two arms, and turns herself into a five-year-old girl.

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From printfection.com:

Perfect shirts for your day together at the park!

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Congratulations to Target staff for their willingness to conduct extensive grocery bag stress testing. Their dedication to making sure grocery bags are tested and strained to their limits insures guests of a quality experience. My wife came home tonight with groceries which I took out of the car and brought in  — only then did I realize how far Target’s crackerjack team would go to test the paper tolerances of their grocery bags.

One bag contained:
Taco chips, spaghetti sauce, applesauce, taco shells, ranch dressing, nutrition bars, baked beans, two 24 oz peaches, mushrooms, three tuna salad kits, salsa, 2 mac/cheese, oatmeal, vanilla and vegetable oil.
It weighed in at 20.6 pounds. Way to go Target team!

But they don’t stop there! They also test the capacity limits of their bags – not content to just restrict your purchases to the rectangular shape of the bag, they pack it until it becomes round. Amazing!

Congratulations Target for letting your team experiment with my groceries for the good of all Target shoppers everywhere. (And just think of how you are helping the elderly guests with their core muscle training with those 20 pound bags to lift!) Thank you, thank you, thank you!