I enjoy pumpkin flavored food. Pumpkin pie is fantastic. Michelle’s pumpkin crunch cake is magically delicious. Pumpkin soup from Uno Chicago Grill is comforting. Even pumpkin seeds are quite tasty. But it has now become clear to me that “pumpkin” and “pumpkin spice” are two entirely different things. I recently tried “pumpkin spice” frozen yogurt at Pinkberry and thought it tasted awful, leaving me wondering why I wasn’t tasting any pumpkin flavor, only an overwhelming amount of cinnamon and other spices that are normally mixed with pumpkin to kick it up. Then tonight I tried “pumpkin spice” chocolate bark from Godiva. Again, blech. No pumpkin to be found. Now I was catching on. I read the label and found the dominant ingredients to be cinnamon, ginger, and mono and triglycerides. Then I turned to the package of Jello pudding sitting on our kitchen counter, finding that it was indeed “pumpkin spice” pudding and not “pumpkin” flavored pudding. And sure enough, some of the main ingredients are cinnamon, ginger, and those glycerides.

So what gives? Why do I want to eat food that’s flavored with the same spices that normally season pumpkins, but without the actual pumpkin? Yuck. Maybe next time I want a steak, I should just eat the dry rub and steak sauce by itself, with no actual meat? I won’t be fooled by this “pumpkin spice” nonsense ever again. Now someone get me a pumpkin pie.